It's Not Wise

...to upset a Wookiee (Han Solo)


September 26, 2010.

1:24am Unknown number
>>Love you

1:28am Me
>>Do you?

1:29am Unknown number
>>Oh ya

1:30am Me
>>Are you sure you have the right number?

1:31am Unknown number
>>Loooool I know its u kmac

1:33am Me
>>Lol no it's really not.

1:34am Unknown number
>>Sure

1:35am Me
>>I just got this number two weeks ago.

1:37am Unknown number
>>Oh ya

1:37am Me
>>Yep

1:37am Unknown number
>>Nice

1:43am Me
>>Good luck with declaring your love to kmac though

1:44am Unknown number
>>Hot shit

1:48am Me
>>I'm sure kmac is

1:48am Unknown number
>>Fuck kmac eh what a prick

1:50am Me
>>Why do you say that?

1:51am Unknown number
>>Why not?

1:51am Me
>>Well I wouldn't know.

1:52am Unknown number
>>Oh ya?

1:52am Me
>>I don't know kmac so I can't make any assumptions.

1:54am Unknown number
>>that's fair man he's hairy.. Chewbacs shots

1:56am Me
>>C'mon now don't be hatin' on the wookiee

1:57am Unknown number
>>Hahah wookies for life

1:57am Me
>>Damn straight

I've Always Envied People Who Sleep Easily

Their brains must be cleaner, the floorboards of the skull well swept, all the little monsters closed up in a steamer trunk at the foot of the bed." (David Benioff - City of Thieves)


Oh my dearest, how I have not missed the endless nights kept awake by your very presence. Or how you torment me with the vivid array of thoughts and queries about anything and everything imaginable. The grip you have on me tightens with each visit you pay me, making me wish for a time when I was free from your hold. Free to rest and recover until our next encounter throws me back into the gauntlet. Why can I not just be rid of you? Will you ever just leave me to be in peace?

Ah, Summer, What Power You Have

...to make us suffer and like it. (Russel Baker)

Goodness gracious I am back once again.

My apologies for the two people that might actually read this for my impromptu hiatus the past few months. The last two-three months have been quite crazy and hectic. Here is the brief rundown of the events:

Quit my job.
Port Elgin.
Studied.
Multiple games of baseball.
Birthday.
Sauble Beach.
Ottawa.
Funeral.
Stag/Stag and Doe.
Injury.
More baseball.
Moved.
Back to school.

Now somehow I went from having like absolutely no social life to practically never being home apart from the time I was actually just studying. I wish I knew how it happened, and as much as I just like to stay in and do nothing I liked being out there and running around being among others a lot more. Who would have guessed that about the quiet guy who keeps to himself? This past weekend I felt completely lost. This is the first full weekend that I have spent here in Ottawa and from the very few people I know here none wanted to do anything and I was left here to my lonesome self.

*sigh*

I know, woe is me and all that...

I know there are other people out there with bigger problems and all that. This was not me complaining about not having anything to do, this is me explaining that after however many years of being a shut in recluse I am finally wanting more out of my life.

This little boy is finally growing up.

The Key To Change

...is to let go of fear. (Rosanne Cash)



Being surrounded by the depths of darkness
Sitting there searching for anything to hold onto
A light to guide you through the nothingness
Of living all alone in an empty void


Life is an interesting thing, or rather the events and how we perceive them are...
It is funny sometimes how things can be going along so smoothly, feel so great and then all of a sudden *BAM!* You hit a wall, stumble back and fall to the ground. Then after standing back up you realize the wall is gone but is then replaced with a giant chasm with no place to cross. That is what depression is like, or at least that is a simplistic way of putting it (at least for me).


Carrying the weight of your world on your shoulders
The pressure is mounting and you just can't hold on
Cracking underneath this mountain of boulders
Until you can't take it anymore and crumble to pieces


What do you do when there is nothing left of your world? People always say that you should talk about things but what I have come to realize is that, that is not a real solution. Sure it might be a temporary fix to help let it out; however, the relief does not last for too long. It will always come back and a lot of the time it comes back with a bigger bite then before. Then there is always the pharmaceutical intervention with drugs... I some how think though that we really do not need more chemicals being put in our body than what we are already.


Gathering your strength for one final fight
To get back up on your feet and stand on the ground
Giving it all you have, pushing with your all you might
And tossing off all the weight that was on your shoulders


I personally believe that the only way to finally get past it, is to deal with it yourself because unless you are willing to just let everything go to put it behind you than it will never go away. I know that just letting go is not an easy task. Somehow, I was able to do this though I really do not know how this change occurred. I do know though that it is very liberating. To face your fears and overcome them to change your whole perspective on life is just simply a remarkable thing.


With a sigh of relief the darkness begins to fade away
Bringing forth the light back into your world
Everything seems wonderful with this brand new day
And you start moving forward to continue on this journey of life

You Want Sympathy?

You'll find it between "shit" and "syphilis" in the dictionary. - from Lucky You (2007)

Before I get into today's post I would like to say that the quote above makes me chuckle. I have no idea if it is literally true or not but it really does not matter. I like it. I like you too because you are reading what I am writing and for that you get an A+ in my books. I do not actually have any books or even know who is actually reading this to give you said A+ but just imagine that I am. Thank you.


The past two weeks for me have been quite hectic. Between playing baseball and work I have not had much time to myself or to even unwind... and on Sunday I did. For all those who may stumble across this who are not from Canada, up here in The Great White North, the third weekend in May is a long weekend for us. Monday being declared a holiday and the day of Celebration for Queen Victoria's birthday. It is deemed to be the unofficial start to the summer. Most people use this weekend as a chance to go camping for the first time but a few years ago a buddy of mine decided he would rather start staying home this weekend and throw a party instead. Lets face it, this is Canada and even though it is the end of May we sometimes do end up getting snow and camping in that is never fun. Anyway, four years ago marked the start of a new tradition.

First Annual was born!! Four years, Fourth Annual kept things going strong. Sadly we did not get the turn out we did last year but the weather was incredibly nice the second half of the weekend so it is understandable. Nonetheless it was a great fun filled time.

For me Sunday started with me getting up and going into work for 7:30AM, not a great start to the day but who does not like money? I ended up working for about three hours and came home where I proceeded to have a shower. Feel free to picture me wet and naked. I will give you a moment to gain your composure.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So after my shower I decided to head up to the store to get myself some beer for the party since I did not have much left here. So I walked up there only to find out that the store didn't open for anther half an hour, just my luck of course. I decided to just keep walking and take the long way home and when I got back just started playing around on my computer for awhile. About an hour later my stomach was growling something fierce. It was angry at me for not giving it some food. Before I could feed it though I had to head back up to the store to go grab some beer, which I ended up buying some Bud Light Lime (mmm so tasty). A few minutes later I was back home and I started to prepare myself a nice pre-drinking meal. Pasta. If I am going to be drinking a lot I always fill my belly full of pasta. It stays heavy in my stomach soaking up the alcohol so I can drink more! I am a loser like that but whatever I do not care. It helps make sure I do not puke too so I keep it up. While I was cooking that though I kept thinking about what I could take to the barbeque I was not coming up with any ideas at all. Usually what I end up always having to take are deviled eggs but I did not think I had enough eggs until I found a whole carton at the back of the fridge so for the next couple hours I slaved away boiling all the eggs we had in the house.

Point of interest, my deviled eggs are the most delicious ones you will ever taste.

It was about 3:30PM when I got all the eggs so I put them into some containers and headed over to Chad's house where the festivities would be going down. It also just happens to be right around my house. I love small towns. I get there and took the eggs in the house to put in his fridge, I did not see him in there so I checked out back and saw him up at house behind his helping building a deck. So I grabbed a beer and headed on up. Mostly just watched them work on the deck since at the moment there was not really anything I could do to help. It was about half an hour later when other people started showing up at Chad's house so I pitched a hand to help them finish the floor joists and get it all ready for the floor boards tomorrow. We got that down in no time and headed down to Chad's and joined everybody down there. A few of course started up a game of testicle toss. Testicle toss by the way is a game where you have two racks set apart from each other in the ground with three bars on each one. You have two teams that try to throw these ropes that have a golf ball fastened on each end on to one of the bars on the rack. Bottom bar is worth one, middle two, and the top is worth three points. First team to get to twenty-one wins.

We finished that game up right when more people started to show up. We started berbequing some burgers and hot dogs, got the salads out that other people brought, my eggs of course and enjoyed some goodness in food form. Then after all that good stuff there was cake to be had! Sweet delicious cake, four different kinds. So good. After dinner more testicle toss and the lighting of the fire that nearly burned the fur off of the neighbour's dog that came over. Do not worry though no animals were harmed during the night. At this point in the night was when things started to pick up. There were a couple games of beer pong but mostly throughout the night we had continuous rounds of flip cup. Six on six and everybody got involved at some point at least a few times during the night. It was a great time.

Lets take a brief moment to talk about the fire. This fire was intense, especially for just a backyard behind a house in a small town. The old tire rim used for the fire pit was completely surrounded by wood, coals and flames that you could not even pick it out. The fire probably grew to be about five and a half feet by five and a half feet and at one point during the night the flames reached up about twelve feet up into the air. And it was incredibly hot, you had to sit back at least ten to fifteen feet from the fire and even then at times when more wood, or part of a couch, or a chair, or whatever else we had got thrown on. Needless to say it was a good fire.

Back to the ensuing events and where things really took a turn for the worse? For the better? I am not sure which one but it was funny as can be at the time. Now one of the guys there was Johnny, who normally ends up falling asleep when he is sitting at a fire, and he made a comment about this because when he falls asleep Elton runs over and tackles him in his chair. Always funny. And no sooner than when Johnny was finished saying this he was taken out by somebody. It was either Elton or Spencer, Spencer being the instigator of most of what happens at this point in the night. So Johnny was on his back, the chair he was in broke and everybody else was just laughing their butts off. After that it was just a free-for-all. Spencer started picking on Kirk and then Elton got in on that. Kirk got the most of it throughout the night mostly because he kept chirping and chirping making fun of people. And then he starts on me and I am sitting right next to him. He is giving me a hard time because I am drinking Bud Light Lime and saying how it was so last year and blah blah blah. Now normally I am the good, quiet person that does not really say much or contribute to what is going on but on this night much to the surprise of EVERYBODY I plowed right through Kirk and then walked to get myself another Bud Light Lime. It was all fun and nobody took any of it seriously and almost everybody got in on it. I got tackled once by Chad and then a couple times by Spencer. I got Spencer back a few times and scrapped with him a bit. By the end of the night there were beer cans all over from people losing them from being tackled, people covered in beer and there were at least half a dozen chairs broken.

Things started to calm down after a few hours of that and by about 2-3AM people started to call it a night and either stumbled home or stumbled into Chad's house to find a spot to sleep. I can say though that I was the first one there and I was the last one to leave. I take pride in that. Outlasting everybody else. Ok well not entirely everybody else, at the end it was Missy and I sitting around the dying fire until it started to get a little too chilly to sit outside anymore and we called it a night after that.

The Annual is easily hands down one of the highlights of the year and I can't wait until the Fifth Annual rolls around next year.

Drop That Zero

...And Get With The Hero.

It is now officially time to freak the eff out! I am back again for the eighth time this month. It is insane! One more post away this month to equal all the posts that I had of all last year.

I do not know if anybody has noticed a little trend in movies coming out the past couple years and for a couple more years into the future but there is a fantastic one and it involves none other than the 80s. Not just all of the 80s but specifically 80s cartoons.

Lets recap some of the 80s cartoons that have come out as movies already: Two Transformers movies, GI Joe, an animated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and two Alvin and the Chipmunks movies. They are now cataloged along the lines of the live action Ninja Turtles movies, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Masters of the Universe, The Flintstones, and lets not forget about those lovable Looney Tunes in both Space Jam and Looney: Tunes Back in Action. Then of course there have been Inspector Gadget, Garfield, and Dennis the Menace. Sure some of them were not all that great but some of them are classics. The best thing is though they are not done and hopefully the best is yet to come!

Some of the ones that are slated to be coming out in the near future include The Smurfs, Thundercats, Voltron, Greyskull (He-man) and a Yogi Bear movie! I personally cannot wait for the new He-man and Thundercats movies. I have high hopes from them. As for the others I will have to wait and see how they are like. I have a feeling that The Smurfs are either going to be a huge success or it is going to be a huge tanker, but I will be keeping my fingers crossed nonetheless. All those hours wasted in front of the television watching these cartoons religiously only have so many of them be turned into movies has got my inner geek jumping up and down for joy.

So lets get the popcorn ready for some retro-active trips down memory lane.

And Shepherds We Shall Be

...for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. Nomenis Patri Et Fili Spirtus Sancti. (Boondock Saints 1999)

Do you not just hate when you have this good idea in your head that you want to write about and then the moment you go to start writing it just vanishes in thin air. That is life though is it not? The good things seem to disappear at a moments notice while the bad seems to linger and take hold. Though oddly enough it is ultimately for the best.

I know, I know, you are probably thinking I am completely crazy for thinking that but before you condemn me for it; hear me out.

Yeah sure, the good things in life make us all happy and such; however, all those thoughts and feelings are fleeting. Whereas, the bad things in life usually effect us on a more deeper level. Right down to the core of our soul. And it is in these moments that we derive the most character building attributes. A person who is able to endure the hardships in life is a person who comes out of it for the better. You become stronger for it, more confidence, able to take on more and have more to rely on when life starts to get tough again. You become a person who is more reliable, one who others can rely on, one who is able to help guide them through similar situations when needed. It is in the darkest of times when the brightest of light can be found.