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Hello creeper

I am Iron Man

(Tony Stark, Iron Man)


Tony Stark, the lovable genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist is back in his latest installment and after seeing it yesterday I was not blown away by what I watched.  The movie was not horrible by any means, I found it quite good.  I guess for me though, coming off the epicness of The Avengers, Iron Man 3 or any other installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe would naturally pale in comparrison.  To go from a multi-hero dynamic of that in Avengers, to a singular hero aspect of Iron Man, means that Iron Man has to be something different to set itself apart.  Otherwise if you get the same type of movie over and over, it gets to repeatitive and loses appeal.  The feel of Iron Man 3 is that the movie is less about Tony Stark the superhero, but rather about Tony Stark the human being.  About a man troubled by the events that took place in New York.  And that is what was great about the movie because it took the movie as well as the character and made it more personable, more relatable.

After watching the movie, it has made me feel an even deeper admiration for what Robert Downey Jr. has done for the character of Tony Stark.  He has breathed so much life into it that it is impossible to imagine anyone else being able to take the reigns and keep it at the same level.  I have no doubt that Marvel do whatever they can to keep him around for as long as they can; however, the simple truth of the matter is that he will have to step away at some point.  As sad as that is, it is inevitable.  I know that Marvel does not have a problem with replacing an actor with somebody else and continuing on from there, I hope that they do not exercise this practice with what they are creating.  My absolute favourite part about the recent movies have been is that they are not just singular filrms, or singular franchises, but rather a fully fledged univese with a continuing continuity.  If Marvel decides to continuing swap in new actors for key roles then I believe it will detract from that continuity.

Recently there has been a lot of speculation about how some of the main stars have been getting the short end of the stick when it comes to their contracts and the amount of money they recieve in comparison to other projects that they have done.  I hope that Marvel comes to their senses and is able to keep everybody.  As a fan of what they are trying to accomplish, it would be a shame that they are more concerned with padding their own wallets rather than giving their best to the fans.

What To Do... What To Do...

What can you write about when you have nothing to write down?

For quite awhile now I have wanted to write more on this thing and I am sure if I wanted to I could have easily; however, my blog up to this point in time as been some melodramatic bullshit.  I am tired of that.  Sure, some of it has been helpful in not bottling things up anymore but it is definitely time to move on to something more hopefully more worthy and fullfilling.  Time will only tell.

But He Who Dies In Despair

...has lived his whole life in vain. (Theodor Adorno)

Lately I have been in a state of melancholy that is usually just reserved for my birthday and the Christmas holidays, the latter of which did not actually happen last month much to my surprise. I do not even know where to begin with how I am actually feeling... I know this may sound impossible but I am being quieter more than I normally am to the point where there are times when I am not even sure if I have a voice anymore. Well besides the one in my head. I have been very lethargic, I am always tired but unable to sleep or get any adequate rest. The last time I actually got a good night's sleep was on New Years when I ended up sleeping on a couch, a very comfortable couch. Then a couple days ago an uneasy truth about myself came to light while having a conversation with somebody on skype. It was brought up in jest about how I do not care and even though I was joking when I replied with that I was at least trying to care about myself, it rang true. I do not care about myself or my well being. The proof in that can be seen by the fact that despite the fact that my arm is messed up I went ahead and played volleyball not just once this past week, but three times. At least I am not a cutter right? The concept does follow the same principles. Feeling the pain at least reminds me that I am infact still alive, it is the only thing I seem to be able to feel. My heart is cold and devoid of any and all emotion, with the exception of lonesomeness that encompasses my existence on this earth. I have been alone either physically or emotionally since I was about two years old, yeah that is a long time and some time between then and now I accepted the fact that I was going to end up alone. It just seems to my place in the world. Let us be honest about this though, I do not talk a whole lot on my good days let alone my more depressing days and that just makes me the type of person that people do not want to be around socially. Over the course of my life time it has been more often then not that the only reason why people wanted anything to do with me was if they needed me for something. C'est la vie.

I cannot blame anyone for this more than myself. If only I would talk more, or at least that is what people tell me I should do. Lets break down why I do not always say a whole lot:

The number one reason is that in a general sense I hate people and do not trust anyone. That does not mean that I hate people specifically, but only in a general manner because throughout my life people have been nothing but unreliable, self-serving, judgementalists. I am the guy who has always been bullied and picked on, or just completely ignored and then if I take the time to actually open up to people sooner or later I end up feeling like I got tossed aside like a piece of garbage.

Now this next reason has the potential to make me sound like a pretentious snob but nonetheless here it is, I usually have no interest in what other people are talking about. By that I mean the boring and mundane dribble that passes for day to day chit chat. I was told last year a couple of days before Valentines Day that I am too much of a deep thinker, which I was also told is also not an attractive quality. Regardless that is what I am.

We are taught that we should always be ourselves but being myself brings me nothing but misery, sadness and loneliness. The question I ask is should I become someone else so that I can escape this bleak existence?

I Should Be Packing And/Or Sleeping But Clearly I Am Not

I was creeping myself on facebook and came across this from three years ago and thought what the hell and here it is for 2011. Enjoy.

2011: In The Beginning

Where did you go on New Years?: I was up at the arena for a Stag and Doe.

Who were you with?: A hundred or so people, maybe more but either way it is far too many names to name even if I could remember them all.

Did you kiss anyone at midnight? I did not have anyone to kiss. :(

Did you make any resolutions?: Resolutions are a little pointless when you're as perfect as perfect can get.

2011: Your Love Life

Did you break up with anyone?: Nope, did not have anyone to break up with.

Did you meet anyone special?: Hmm... I met some cool people but nobody that really stands out.

Did you fall in love? I am loveless. 3

2011: Friends and Enemies

Did you meet any new friends this year? Like I said a couple questions ago I met some cool people, volleyball has been good like that.

Did any of your friendships end? Friendships no, teammates yes.

Did you dislike anyone?: Nah, disliking people is too much effort.

Did you make any new enemies?: LOL Oh boy did I ever!

Did you resolve any fights?: I cannot say that I played the part of a peacemaker.

Who was your closest friend?: Um, I am not sure.

Who did you grow apart from?: There was somebody for awhile but it did not last.

Did you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships? No, I have no regrets... not even when I made some of my volleyball team quit.

2011: All about you.

Did you dye your hair?: Nope but there is a bit of it starting to change colour or rather lose its colour. :(

Did you get your hair cut?: It has been a couple months since I have got it cut, might need it again soon.

Did you change your style?: Maybe if I had style to begin with.

Were you in school?: Yes I was.

Did you get good grades?: I got some decent grades, have not checked my latest ones yet though. I am a bad student like that.

Did you have a job?: Nothing official.

Did you drive?: Nope, lots of busing though.

Did you own a car?: I wish.

Did anyone close to you give birth?: I had cousin and his wife gave birth and some people from back home had some kids as well.

Did you move at all?: Not this year.

Did you go on any vacations?: I would not call coming back to Drayton as a vacation, or at least not a good one.

Did you leave the country at all?: That is still a no.

2011: Wrap Up.

Is 2011 a good year?: It was an alright year, could have been better and could have been worse but overall it was on the positive side.

Do you think 2012 will top 2011?: I hope so, at least until the world blows up at the end of the year. lol

I confess that in 2011 I...

(x) stayed single for the whole year

(x) made out in/on a car

( ) kissed in the snow

( ) celebrated Halloween

( ) kissed in the rain

( ) had your heart broken

( ) broke someone else's heart

( ) had a stalker

( ) mooned someone

( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone

( ) had a good relationship with someone

( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation

( ) came out of the closet

( ) gotten pregnant

( ) had an abortion

( ) done something you've regretted

( ) kissed under mistletoe

OTHER

( ) painted a picture

(x) wrote a poem

( ) ran a mile

( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch

( ) posted a blog on MySpace

(x) listened to music you couldn't stand

( ) went to a sleepover

(x) laughed till you cried

( ) laughed till you peed in your pants

( ) visited a foreign country

(x) cut in a line of waiting people

(x) told someone you were busy when you weren't

(x) partied to celebrate the new year

In 2011 I...

[x] broke a promise

[ ] fallen out of love

[x] lied

[x] went behind your parents back

[ ] cried over a broken heart

[x] disappointed someone close

[x] hid a secret

[x] pretended to be happy

[ ] kissed in the rain

[ ] slept under the stars

[ ] kept your new years resolution

[ ] forgot your new years resolution

[x] met someone who changed your life

[ ] met one of your idols

[ ] changed your outlook on life

[x] sat home all day doing nothing

[x] pretended to be sick

[ ] left the country

[ ] almost died

[ ] given up something important to you

[ ] lost something expensive

[x] learned something new about yourself

[ ] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it

[x] made a change in your life

[ ] found out who your true friends were

[x] met great people

[x] stayed up til sunrise

[ ] cried over the silliest thing

[ ] was never home on weekends

[ ] got into a car accident

[x] had friends who were drifting away from you

[ ] had someone close to you die

[ ] had a high cell phone bill

[ ] spent most of your money on food

[ ] had a fist fight

[ ] went to the beach with your best friend

[ ] saw a celebrity

[x] gotten sick

[ ] liked more than 5 people at the same time

With 2011 at an end, do this and BE HONEST

1. Have you had any relationships this year?

I have not had any relationships this year.

2. Have you had your birthday yet?

Yes, and I had a baseball game in which I actually won the game for us. Then I had the weather ruin the rest of my plans for the day. Damn you mother nature.

3. Kissed two people in the same night?

Nope, though new years is on Saturday so you never know what might happen.

4. Pulled an all nighter?

Multiple ones... stupid procrastination.

5. Puked at all?

Pretty sure I started the year off puking.

7. Went Camping?

No camping for me this year.

8. Bought something(s)?

Nothing worth mentioning except for maybe Skyrim because it is Skyrim.

9. Met someone special?

Nope, nobody special in my life.

10. Been out of the country?

No I have not.

12. What are you thinking about?

I am thinking that I should really start packing, also I am hungry and wondering what I could snack on.

NAUGHTY

1. Have you drank alcohol this year?

Obviously but not a whole lot and a hell of a lot less than the year before.

2. Have you been kicked out of a store this year?

I wish, that would be fun.

3. Have you shoplifted this year?

Nah, I'm a good little boy.

4. This year have you gotten a detention?

Do they give detention in university?

5. Have you cheated on a test this year?

I wish I would have been able to cheat on some of my exams but no, I have not.

6. What was the worst feeling you last felt?

I got a bit of a case of the blues around my birthday.

7. Are you in a good mood right now?

I am hungry and indifferent with a touch of sleepiness.

8. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone for over an hour?

Actual voice communication on a phone is not quite my thing so nobody.

9. What made you cry today?

I was watching some comedy roasts and teared up from laughter a couple times.

10.Has a boy/girl ever called you babe/baby?

Probably but I could not say for sure.

11.What are you doing Tuesday?

Today was Tuesday and I did not do anything worth mentioning.

12.Will your next kiss be a mistake?

New Years is coming up so there is a chance that if there is a kiss it could be a mistake, it all depends on how drunk I am.

13.Have you ever kissed on a boat?

I am not even sure the last time I was on a boat.

14.Do you mind being cold?

Nope, I am Canadian I can handle the cold.

15.Do you trust all your friends?

No, not really. I do not trust anyone completely.

16.Are you afraid of falling in love?

I am not afraid to fall in love.

17.Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?

Actually yes, yes I have held hands with somebody in the past week.

18.Biggest annoyance in your life right now?

Possibly a snow storm if it ruins my travel plans later today, otherwise I got nothing.

19.Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?

In my life, no. Just this year, yes.

Only Two Things Are Infinite

the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. (Albert Einstein)


On one of the few occasions I was able to grace my volleyball team with my company for drinks after a game the discussion between a few of them, two of which were teachers, turned to how about how the reality of life is that you cannot really be anything that you want to be in life. Now as per my usual self in social situations I did not add anything to conversation but the idea of that has been in my head and now wants to be let out.

Everybody always complains about how they hate stupid people or how the world would be a better place if we got rid of all them. Whether it has to do with their actual lack of intelligence or through a person's ridiculous actions, all of that complain is for naught. The truth of the matter is that society needs dumb people. When I use the term "dumb people" I mean those people who did not excel throughout their academic careers and that is not to say that they do not possess any intelligence or are not knowledgeable people in certain areas. There are just some individuals who were not able to achieve their maximum potential in school and those are the people I refer to by that term. Therein lies the problem with the educational system. It is just not designed to turn every student into intellectual superstars. From my experience in school it is more akin to a production line then anything else. Students get pushed ahead in classes and grades even when they do not fully understand the concepts and that lack of comprehension continues to pile up until they eventually either fail or in extreme causes flunk out completely. Something like that can start off in the lower grades without much notice and then when a person gets into the upper grades it can hit like a bag of bricks. Even more so when you take into account how in the upper grades you have the bulk of your final mark dependent on a midterm and/or an exam, especially in post-secondary education. This just leads to students to cram as much as they can right before the test and cramming is not an optimal way to study. The level of retention after that is minimal at best. The unfortunate truth about it all is that it is not a bad thing to have people not be able to reach their scholarly potential.

For a moment imagine a world full of doctors, and lawyers, and scientists, and other high level of intellect professions. Now is that world full of garbage? Doubtful, but it probably would be. The whole division within people who excel in school and those who do not is that you get a wider spread of future citizens to fill in holes in the fabric of society. Whether those holes are for the more prestigious professions or the ones deemed to be at the bottom of the barrel they need to be filled and because of that is why schools do not provide an optimal learning service and why we need dumb people.

It Is The Most Magical Time Of The Year

This past semester at school it has been nothing but math and unless you are a die hard math geek it just fries your brain. I was hoping that when Christmas vacation came along I would be able to unwind from all of that and get back into something that was a little more creative but after a few days of being back home I just have not been inclined to write anything. With any luck inspiration will strike soon.